Men Will Always Be Men – In Other Words, Stupid

tanu weds manu Spoiler Alert: Those people who have not seen Tanu Weds Manu Returns are warned to read this blogpost only after watching the movie. Any request for compensation for spoiling the fun of the movie will not be entertained if you still continue to read this post.

To begin with, this is not a critical review of the movie ‘Tanu Weds Manu Returns’. I watch movies primarily for entertainment (though I’m not averse to a bit of intellectual stimulation, provided it is not in quantities that are hazardous to the human mind). And this movie is without doubt very entertaining. Also, Kangana Ranaut is absolutely brilliant in both of her roles. I don’t think I’m enough of a movie buff to shed further light on the technical aspects of the movie, such as direction, editing, script and such. Why I’m writing this post is primarily to explore the dynamics of the interplay between the three principle characters in the movie – Tanu, Manu and Datto. Because I think, it offers a fascinating insight into the wider dynamics of male-female relationships.

Right at the beginning of the movie, it is pretty obvious that Tanu and Manu, despite their rhyming names, are not meant for each other. Manu is the most boring man on this earth. His idea of a great weekend is to go to a discount sale at the local supermarket. On top of that, he’s a doctor. Tanu on the other hand craves excitement and thrill. Nothing is common between them, their sex life is as existent as Rahul Gandhi’s IQ, and quite understandably their marriage is on the verge of breaking apart. Tanu is a beautiful, charming, vivacious, emotionally expressive woman. She’s also selfish, manipulative, and completely narcissistic. After manipulating the British authorities into confining her husband into a mental asylum, she returns to her hometown in India and immediately picks up the threads of her pre-marital life. She actively searches out her former admirers and brazenly flirts with them, evoking sentiments which she has no intention of reciprocating. She’s simply enjoying the power of her beauty and charm.

Manu follows her to India and meets Datto, the Haryanvi student athlete. Manu first pursues her because she has a physical resemblance to his wife, but soon realizes that unlike Tanu, Datto is a simple, straightforward, village girl, with no womanly wiles or guiles about her – and it is these qualities that attract him to her, despite the fact that she’s a plain Jane in comparison to his wife. Datto, unlike Tanu, is so selfless that before going to her own village to talk to her elders about marrying Manu, she takes a detour to first help Manu’s friend Pappi. Manu realizes the full extent of her love for him when he sees her furiously fight with her brother and other relatives for the right to marry him.

Meanwhile Tanu hears that Manu is marrying Datto and, shocked, she rushes to confront him. She makes cruel fun of the rustic Datto, but the unabashed Haryanvi girl replies that she’s a state level athlete who has earned her own place into Delhi University in contrast to Tanu who has depended all her life first on her father, and then on her husband to provide for her. When her womanly wiles fail her, Tanu resorts to the last weapon in a woman’s armoury – emotional blackmail. She stays weepy eyed and moping in front of Manu all the time, silently and piteously reminding him of their shared moments of the past. And at the last moment, the man’s heart softens and he rushes to comfort the beautiful woman’s tears – leaving the woman who loves him standing lonely and devastated at the marriage mandap.

So in the end, even though the man realizes that the girl with the inner beauty, the woman of substance, is who he should actually spend his life with, it is the woman with the outer beauty, charm and guiles who manages to hold on to him. And is this what happens in real life? Do I really need to answer this question?

So am I blaming the beautiful woman for this? Not at all. Everyone has the right to be what he or she is. I don’t advocate being moralistic about anything in life. Do I blame the simple woman, the plain Jane for her devotion? Of course not. The only person I’m blaming here is the man, who is wise enough to perceive the true beauty of a woman, and is yet ultimately so blinded by external beauty that he foolishly goes back into a relationship that is bound to give both the concerned parties future grief and misery. And yes, probably all the men in the world are like that.

A man usually knows what will make him truly happy in life. But he will still desire only those things that will make him seem like a success in the eyes of other men.

I have always been a great believer. I've flitted from one belief to another, from religion to atheism and from one philosophy to another, until I finally settled on J. Krishnamurti whose philosophy is that there is no philosophy. So now I firmly believe that there is nothing to believe. Now such a belief would, I believe, have been considered dangerous to society if the authorities had believed me to be of any consequence. No man of consequence they believe would waste his time on the pursuit of blogging!

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Posted in humour, Philosophy
21 comments on “Men Will Always Be Men – In Other Words, Stupid
  1. pals13 says:

    Thank You for this lovely post…..I so wanted to read a man’s take on the movie…..i guess, the director just could not carry his boldness right up to the end, fell prey to the widely acceptable, safe norms of Indian culture/traditions especially with the institution of marriage.

    • Probably. But the fact remains that most men are just as stupid as Dr Manu

      • pals13 says:

        well..that’s how our society is programmed…men after beauty and women after money…sad but true….doesnt sound nice but definitely not entirely stupid if so many people follow the same.. am yet to find a man/woman who dares to be different in real life and walks the talk…

      • People can be stupid just by following the herd. Once upon a time everyone believed the earth was flat

  2. Well penned !! I did not watch the movie but read ur post inspite of being cautioned. loved the though process and agree to the point where MOST MEN are DUMB ! and charmed by the beauty.

  3. पहला पैराग्राफ पढ़ लिया है बाकि का फिल्म देखकर आने के बाद पढ़ेंगे

  4. SamZzA says:

    Thank God I don’t see such crap bollywood emotional movies.Ghisapita story line.
    And if a man knows what will make him truly happy in life, he should follow it breaking the rule rather than leading a life n theories of sham society.

    Always ” Do what you like and like what you do ”

    Be Bold even if you are Old since your Heart is pure Gold🙂

    -Weak Story Line.

    Change is the Law of Life !!

    Manu and Tanu should have divorced and should have moved on like Kishore Kumar n Ruma,Madubala n Yogita, Saif n Amrita,Hrithik n Suzzane,Aamir n Reena,Chitrangda Singh & Jyoti Randhawa,Azhar n Sangeeta,Sanjay n Rhea,Leander n Rhea,etc to find their real happiness fucking the damn social norms which are made by dastard humans.

    But modern Indian men are changing with the world for a better future like the “Who moved my Cheese” –

    Change Happens
    Anticipate Change
    Get Ready For The Change
    Adapt To Change Quickly

    The Quicker You Let Go Of Old, The Sooner You Can Enjoy New
    Change n Move With The Chhange
    Enjoy Change!

    Savor The Adventure And Enjoy The Taste Of New Change

    Bollywood shows stories which are contradicting to their own industry whereas
    Hollywood is the change master and world follows it !!

    Bollywood lacks Innovation and Creativity.

  5. Anil says:

    Women Will Always Be Women – In Other Words, Stupid. Stupider than men

  6. apsara says:

    Thanks Doc…….👏 👏 👏 for this nice review. After reading the spoiler alert ⚠. I stopped reading further and came back here after watching the movie. The director miserably failed at the end. And your analysis clarified the man’s predicament generally in life.
    The director probably fell into same trap as Manu (may be commercially conscious )
    Kangana’s acting is A class in her both roles, more so as the rural athlete.

  7. apsara says:

    Am sure you will moderate this out.. Are you a doctor qualified from kerala?

  8. pankaj says:

    Maybe the writer n director did so to suit a cliched bollywood happy ending so that the audience goes out happy. Majority of Indians are intellctually inacapable so it makes a perfect business sense in bollywood.

  9. purbaray says:

    Did he fall for her charms or was he in love with her all the time? After all he did wait for her to apologise and fell for Datto only because she resembled Tanu.

    I think it was a smart movie that spoke about different levels of man- woman relationship, pitching the wrong kind of feminist against the right one.

  10. apsara says:

    Feminism is an oxymoron. if Feminism is talks of empowerment of women, it is an outdated idea. Women are empowered now like nothing before. The word feminism is a weapon now that can be used mostly for unholy purposes

  11. Reblogged this on gingerlyworld and commented:
    enjoy this read

  12. Meena says:

    I read this post after watching the movie, your perception is naturally from a male point of view, as a female I felt both Tanu & Datto failed to hold their love, for me it’s failure of three characters. You have well understood Tanu’s character, let me tell my perception about Datto, she did not fall in Manu’s love who is much elder to her, Manu makes effort to make her fall in love, romance was missing between Datto & Manu. For me Datto was like a social worker who was helping a man in stress, she was more like a bodyguard who protects Manu than a lover….
    Overall I did not like the movie, whole plot looked so meaningless, none of the characters puts effort to save the relationship. At the end it looked like the same old crap begins so that producer can make one sequel of Tanu weds Manu 3
    I just love the character of Kangana in Queen which I watched two times, in TWM director has put his almost complete effort to highlight Kangana to the fullest….
    Reply was too long no!!!!
    Okay at the end I did not liked your post…
    To compensate my disappointment and feel better, now I will read your other post :))
    Sorry for my bad English😉

  13. DQ says:

    Why he ended up with Tanu is quite simple, doc – humans (forget all that man-woman shit for a moment) are driven by status in life, which is why owning iPhones is still a thing when there are far better alternatives at a fraction of its price from a specs point of view. Datto seems like a simple, plain Jane to me. She’s that rare kind of woman I would actually friendzone.

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